Pregnancy Week 11

               Our baby at 9 weeks! 

Food: 

I am starting to feel a bit better and my appetite  seems to be returning. I am still taking diclegis to help nausea and vomiting. Sometimes I am even craving certain foods (primarily complex carbs, such as Pumpernickel) but I have another week of my nutrition and lifestyle challenge to go thorough before I can indulge "limitless" in dairy and carbs again. 

I am currently eating tons of fruits (smoothies, bananas and nuts are my go to foods) I have notice weight gain in areas that bother me. Though he scale, hasn't changed much. Obviously, this may be further pushed by being pregnant, feeling bloated and generally "full". 

Workouts:

I worked out 5 times this week and noticed strength loss. Not only on upper body movements and lifts but also in my legs which is very strange and unusual for me. I was able to Frontsquat 175 but it was super heavy and my jerk only went up to 125 this week. Not to speak of my miserable attempts to dip and do strict pullups. While I am still trying to renounce and recover from neck surgery, I am not happy. 

WOD times also are significantly slower. I have identified several reasons

a) I am not willing to push myself as hard because I am scared I could harm the baby and 

b) I get out of breath unusually fast

c) it's in my head that I "should do better" and how I feel like a failure. 

On some wods I even opted to use lighter weights (very unlike me, unless I can physically not do them, but this week I really could have). 

So WODding has been not as much fun this week. Primarily, because I found myself in self-destructive self talk episodes coupled with passion- and motivation-lacking attitude towards the WODs and myself.

Lifestyle: 

I dragged myself to work every morning this week and on days I didn't have errands to do I took long naps after lunch. Generally, I have been fairly active this week though but I did not get all things done around the house that I wanted to. My husband and I did spend some eves wodding and snuggling together which made me happy and content despite the negative feelings I have had about my body and myself this week. 

Feelings and thoughts:

This week, I have noticed that I am increasingly frustrated about my decreasing performance. Especially my stamina seems to have disappeared. 

I know that part of it has to do with surgery as well which is just 2 months passed now. But it is very difficult for me to not be one of the leaders of the pack at my gym. Plus, everyone else is hitting PRs and improving. 

Sometimes I just can't believe that being 11 weeks pregnant makes me so much weaker. 

I've heard people say the second trimester was different and that the body will regain strength and tiredness will pass as well, but I am skeptical. However, I am not going to give up and I even started running short distances again. I am missing out on the next games and comps season but I want to bounce back as quickly and strong as possible. 

Yet, I am scared I won't. Not because I couldn't but because I will have a baby to take care of which will limit me to the possibilities of doing what I want when I want. But why worry about this now? 

Most important for me now is to get my body image in check and think about aome dietary changes for when the semi-paleo challenge is over. (I had done 6 weeks of strict paleo before and my body did not respond well to it that time either, so I am looking forward to eating what my body really needs and cutting back on some of the things I probably shouldn't have as much (aka bananas and nuts). After all I grew up on potatoes and my ancestors did - still hearing Oma's voice "Iss deine Kartoffeln! Während des Krieges waren wir froh, wenn wit überhaupt welche hatten."

Just another Wednesday Workout

This is day 11 of our 8 week (or approximately 57 days long) nutrition team challenge. I didn't sleep well, had to get up early and didn't get to breakfast before 8am. Had a small snack before I went home and forgot my water... That really showed in cravings around 1.30. I wanted pumpernickel so bad... Haha,but I had a couple of eggs and tuna on greens and olive oil and curbed the cravings. I went to PT and the gym and got tired quickly, had my recovery protein , went home, had a balanced dinner and snack and must say: I better hope this diet is working.... I'm getting tired of the cooking... 

And I start missing some items...

Anyway, working out is going well and I am looking forward to hitting heavy weigts and metcons again soon. 

45' PT

1k row in 4:25

Snatch practice

Up to 75# squat snatch

Up to 85# power snatch

3rds

5Toe to bar

2 banded strict pullups

5 10sec L-sits

5 kb reaches @20#

5 TGUs @20#

Nutrition Team Challenge - Day 1

I decided to do a nutrition and performance challenge at my gym. It started yesterday with a pre-WOD. 

Still in e brace I had to modify it of course: 

3RM deadlift and Fight Gone Bad

I hit 125 and 207 reps with a 6# ball and 35# bar. 

It was pretty exhausting but SOOOO much fun to be back. 

I started working out a bit more since Wednesday when I was cleared to do so by my PT guy. 

I am concerned a little bit about some pain in my shoulder. I may need to get that checked out again to rule out anything else. 

But my scar is healing well.

The challenge started well, although I didn't gain any bonuses for great performance. I hope I'll improve by the end of it. 

We had measurements and pictures taken.

My weight was at 147# with 115 LBM. 

My goal is to lose some fat and gain some more LBM. So ideally, I'll stay around 145#.

We have a 30 day strict paleo rule after which we can add in dairy and some other items. I think the 30 days will be challenging but today went surprisingly well and I am pretty stoked about cleanigg up my diet and getting back into even better shape than before my surgery! 

Here is to health and fitness! 

CrossFit Withdrawal

While the Games ended today - Chapaeu, Froning and Leblanc-Bazinet - but  I already feel signs of "CrossFit withdrawal" that are expressed in mental obsession with, and anxiety about my performance and level of strength. I have been working so hard to get where I was and really don't want to lose any of my strength but instead I want to keep working on my weaknesses. But I cannot. I had to quit.

I am starting to freak out.
I don't want to start over nor do I want to accept it if I need to.

I'm trying to tell myself, that it will be ok, that I will just get super strong legs and work on my core. And that's what I am doing, but honestly, I feel like I won't be able to get my chest, shoulder and arm strength back as quickly as I would like to when I can work it again. If I can work it again: 

I'm also getting scared about my gymnastics. I mean I really need all he time I can get to work on my muscle up, my handstand walks, and aside of that my snatch. Let's say, I can return to my normal workout style in October, how long will it take me to get my strength back? How fast can I work on butterfly, and other drills?

Ugh, the metcon part will be ok. I have big tank and I usually only need a couple of months to get that in shape. But, the rest... 

And if I need hand surgery also I'm going to scream! Seriously. 

My game plan for now is: 

1. Rest my left hand and pray that the knot will just disappear;

2. Work on my core and legs;

3. Get the epidural injection in my neck;

4. Work on nutrition;

5. Stay sane and breathe.

The Beginning

I did my CrossFit Elements course in  May 2012 and had no idea how much I would like playing with barbells, kettlebells and all until the beginning of 2013. My husband had been telling me about CrossFit many times before but I think I never really understood what he meant, I guess. I even booked us in for a bootcamp, which he did not enjoy at all, and I just didn't experience pushing myself. Eventually I came across a living social deal for CrossFit Cedar Park which was conveniently located close by. The vouchers were bought and the first step towards a better more healthy lifestyle was set.
We didn't go regularly at first, had to put it on hold every now and then because of travel, but towards the end of 2012 I began to establish a routine. We participated in CFCP's  Holly Jolly Challenge, a 6-week team challenge that included to stick to paleo eating, recorded in daily logs with an allowance of 1 cheat meal per week and  3 team challenges and working out (of course). The eating was the hardest part for me and my husband, but we definitely learned a lot about what difference it makes to not only watch what you eat but to actually making a true effort to change habits and feeling better about your daily choices.
In January, we decided to go unlimited, and I settled for 4 times of CrossFit classes a week. I started to see results after just a month, hitting new PRs and finally being able of completing most WODs RX (as prescribed). I think I got my first real pull-up in February and was talked into participating in the CrossFit Games Opens just for fun. And it was fun: I beat my husband on all but one of the 5 WODs :)
So, here I am now, enjoying CrossFit and feeling much better about myself, even though I have gained about 15Ibs since I have started a year ago. I am still having trouble with the nutrition aspect of it but hopefully time and effort will make that better as well.