15.4 and 15.5 and pregnancy

For 15.4 I decided to mod the HSPUs. Just a few days before, I had done HSPUs in a WOD, but I didn't feel like it for 15.4. Instead I did the scaled version with 65# push press but heavier cleans at 105#. I got to 87 reps. Not great but not shabby. I didn't push myself too much. Recently, I have been concerned about getting my heart rate too much through the roof and aim to keep breathing steady. I am not wearing a heart rate monitor but I think I stay somewhere around 140-150.

I've been consistently doing strength class, however, and weightlifting really feels good. But I just get out of breath super quickly so anything tNg or more than 6reps at a time is challenging. 

 Similarly, I decided to go slow and steady  for 15.5. I'm usually a pretty good rower and like the damper set to a high resistance but I decided to keep it low  - at 5 - and keep cals per hour around 850 rather than 1100. I also took a "chalk" break after each row and then broke up the thrusters into 4 or 5's and sometimes rested on top: I did do the round of 9's unbroken though, and I wished I pushed myself a little more to hit sub 12 but 13:15 wasn't too bad. 

I was not out of breath and actually liked this WOD the most. It was the easiest of all to manage at 8 month pregnant. 

Just 7 more weeks to go. I cannot wait and I am also super excited to get on to  my new post-pregnancy training plan!! Maybe my husband and I will decide to better equip our garage gym - if not, I will just have to work around it and use what we have.  It will work out. 

4 positive side-effects of being an injured Crossfitter

Being injured sucks, but I believe that in every negative there is something positive. 
If you can't see it right away, go look for it! It's all about how you approach your situation, and how you turn your mind towards positive thoughts and use your energy to strengthen your mentality.

Over the last months, I found the following to be true for me.

#1 Detaching from the Whiteboard

The whiteboard and its numbers are just relative. 

Many of us get attached to the whiteboard. I remember when I started CrossFit, I didn't even think I would be able to do a WOD in a "good" time or rx. A couple months in, I was able to rx, got my first pull up, toe to bar, and - to my surprise - noticed an increased time spent in front of the whiteboard. It had become a motivator and a "check-in point" before and after each workout; a way to measure not only my gains but also where I stood in comparison to others at my gym. Signing up for the Opens and completing the open WODs sometimes even fairly successful put this motivation on a whole new level... 

Then came injury. At first it was difficult to see others do so much better but with a little bit of time, I learned to detach myself from the whiteboard. And it's been cleansig in a way. I admit, whenever there is a WOD that I know I would have kicked butt, I take a look at scores and take a mental note. I may even do some of the WODs as part of my training plan when I return - and I know it will be motivating. 

#2 Mastering WOD Modifications

 Listening to the body sometimes means
to not put more weight on the bar

We turn to our Coaches when we are unsure how to do a movement or if we feel like we need to modify. They guide us and advice us. Where I train, we can usually chose to do the WOD at one of three levels, with L3=Rx. Also, our coaches are not only attentive and knowledgeable  but a great resource for ideas and help.
However, if you are injured over a prolonged time, you quickly learn to come up with your own modifications and WODs. I am not saying that my WODs are great but they allow me to use weights and equipment that I can handle or that I even have at home. 
Even when injured, I want to feel good about my workout and still challenge myself in ways that I am ok with. After all, the coaches are not in my body and only I really know what I need and can do. 
That's what's so wonderful about CrossFit: you can (learn to) modify everything. You won't be able to compare yourself to others on the whiteboard anymore, and if that's what you were thinking, how about you read #1 again. :)

#3 Seeing True Colors 

Being injured shows you whom you can trust
and who you can count on. 

We all preach the welcoming nature of the CrossFit community as a whole. And it's true, if someone asks me why I CrossFit, I don't mention last that I love the community, the people, and the support. BUT, it only goes that far. Before I was injured, I was getting stronger and performed pretty well at my gym. A PR here, a sub 3' Grace time there, you get the idea. I am myself a competitive person, so being injured was surely the last thing I wanted to experience while improving strength and fitness. But it happened. 

As the injury creeped up on me and I had to go down in weight or slow down my pace, I started noticing that others who I would usually beat would pass me and triumph. This is where I began seeing true colors in myself and others. In the beginning, it was very hard for me to let others beat me, but I had to listen to my body and not my competition. It still is difficult sometimes, especially during workouts that "are made for me," but instead of falling deeper into depression and obsessing with "failing" I turned it around and put my energy in #1, #2, & #4. Supporting and constructively judging others has become a priority, and strangely enough it's rather rewarding to be the cheerleader! 
Of course, I have also seen true colors in others. While most are supportive and sympathetic of my current physical state, others have shown that they do not care, but are rather "happy" that there is one girl less to compete with. This is the sad truth that is rarely talked about in the welcoming CrossFit community. There can be tension (maybe more between the girls than the guys?!) among girls. 

#4 Developing Mental Strength

Mental visualization is a useful tool,
especially when you are injured. 

Being a CrossFit athlete not only means to  be strong and fit, but it also tests your commitment,  determination, perseverance, and work ethic. While some argue that certain kind of people do CrossFit, you can learn or strengthen your mentality towards the sport and your training. 
Mental toughness is not a new skill, but oftentimes overlooked, and certainly not explicitly coached or taught in a CrossFit class. 
Yet, many of the skills that make up your mental strength, are easily trained if you put in some effort and work. 
Using the time of my injury has been a blessing in the sense that I had time to catch up on some readings about sports psychology and motivational as well as performance studies in athletes. One of the skills is mental visualization. Maybe you don't want to brush up on good form and technique while you cannot actively participate in CrossFit? Visualizing yourself performing will translate into your actual performance when you return. 
For me, that means for example, that I have been watching every Muscle up tutorial online, rewatched the videos of myself getting up in the rings, and imagining myself doing so when I return. Instead of muscle memory, I am actively building mental memory and the ability to translate thoughts into action for the day that I have regained the amount of strength that I will need to perform.
Without time off from surgery, I would probably not have invested as much into perfecting form and developing the mentality of being able to achieve and perform. The physical test will be here sooner than later. I am enjoying the preparation that allows me to believe and visualize that I can do this.

Final ModWOD Week Before My Cervical Spine Surgery

Monday is treating me wells of far. Although, I didn't sleep because of the full moon and I guess some anticipation anxiety for surgery. But I made it to the gym to get some work done. Although the bench was very frustrating! I could not lift the bar of the rack at 88#!!! WTH? So I did multiples at 80 and then a couple lifting "focus on form" WODs.

Mobi

Iron scap

Bench 5-5-5-5-5

At 45-55-65-75-80-failed 88

Then 5rds

10x Bench at 65#

5x push jerk at 45#

5x split jerk at 45#

10x leg raises 

3k Row in 13:54

10rds focus on form

10 OHS squad with 15# bar

10 "heavy" Russians 35# 

50m sled pull 100#

1k row cool down 4:35

Mobi

I actually feel a bit sore now...

My goal for the 4-6 weeks that I'm out is to do some positive thinking; affirmations and mental strength building. I'll also train my brain for lifting and movements. Maybe I'll even study to gt the L1 cert? Why not; right?

And, I initiated a video/interview project that will be awesome, too!! Life is good. 

And even though being injured (kind of awrong  label, because I didn't have an accident...) sucks, it is such an invaluable lesson. 

It will be ok. 

CrossFit Withdrawal

While the Games ended today - Chapaeu, Froning and Leblanc-Bazinet - but  I already feel signs of "CrossFit withdrawal" that are expressed in mental obsession with, and anxiety about my performance and level of strength. I have been working so hard to get where I was and really don't want to lose any of my strength but instead I want to keep working on my weaknesses. But I cannot. I had to quit.

I am starting to freak out.
I don't want to start over nor do I want to accept it if I need to.

I'm trying to tell myself, that it will be ok, that I will just get super strong legs and work on my core. And that's what I am doing, but honestly, I feel like I won't be able to get my chest, shoulder and arm strength back as quickly as I would like to when I can work it again. If I can work it again: 

I'm also getting scared about my gymnastics. I mean I really need all he time I can get to work on my muscle up, my handstand walks, and aside of that my snatch. Let's say, I can return to my normal workout style in October, how long will it take me to get my strength back? How fast can I work on butterfly, and other drills?

Ugh, the metcon part will be ok. I have big tank and I usually only need a couple of months to get that in shape. But, the rest... 

And if I need hand surgery also I'm going to scream! Seriously. 

My game plan for now is: 

1. Rest my left hand and pray that the knot will just disappear;

2. Work on my core and legs;

3. Get the epidural injection in my neck;

4. Work on nutrition;

5. Stay sane and breathe.