4 positive side-effects of being an injured Crossfitter

Being injured sucks, but I believe that in every negative there is something positive. 
If you can't see it right away, go look for it! It's all about how you approach your situation, and how you turn your mind towards positive thoughts and use your energy to strengthen your mentality.

Over the last months, I found the following to be true for me.

#1 Detaching from the Whiteboard

The whiteboard and its numbers are just relative. 

Many of us get attached to the whiteboard. I remember when I started CrossFit, I didn't even think I would be able to do a WOD in a "good" time or rx. A couple months in, I was able to rx, got my first pull up, toe to bar, and - to my surprise - noticed an increased time spent in front of the whiteboard. It had become a motivator and a "check-in point" before and after each workout; a way to measure not only my gains but also where I stood in comparison to others at my gym. Signing up for the Opens and completing the open WODs sometimes even fairly successful put this motivation on a whole new level... 

Then came injury. At first it was difficult to see others do so much better but with a little bit of time, I learned to detach myself from the whiteboard. And it's been cleansig in a way. I admit, whenever there is a WOD that I know I would have kicked butt, I take a look at scores and take a mental note. I may even do some of the WODs as part of my training plan when I return - and I know it will be motivating. 

#2 Mastering WOD Modifications

 Listening to the body sometimes means
to not put more weight on the bar

We turn to our Coaches when we are unsure how to do a movement or if we feel like we need to modify. They guide us and advice us. Where I train, we can usually chose to do the WOD at one of three levels, with L3=Rx. Also, our coaches are not only attentive and knowledgeable  but a great resource for ideas and help.
However, if you are injured over a prolonged time, you quickly learn to come up with your own modifications and WODs. I am not saying that my WODs are great but they allow me to use weights and equipment that I can handle or that I even have at home. 
Even when injured, I want to feel good about my workout and still challenge myself in ways that I am ok with. After all, the coaches are not in my body and only I really know what I need and can do. 
That's what's so wonderful about CrossFit: you can (learn to) modify everything. You won't be able to compare yourself to others on the whiteboard anymore, and if that's what you were thinking, how about you read #1 again. :)

#3 Seeing True Colors 

Being injured shows you whom you can trust
and who you can count on. 

We all preach the welcoming nature of the CrossFit community as a whole. And it's true, if someone asks me why I CrossFit, I don't mention last that I love the community, the people, and the support. BUT, it only goes that far. Before I was injured, I was getting stronger and performed pretty well at my gym. A PR here, a sub 3' Grace time there, you get the idea. I am myself a competitive person, so being injured was surely the last thing I wanted to experience while improving strength and fitness. But it happened. 

As the injury creeped up on me and I had to go down in weight or slow down my pace, I started noticing that others who I would usually beat would pass me and triumph. This is where I began seeing true colors in myself and others. In the beginning, it was very hard for me to let others beat me, but I had to listen to my body and not my competition. It still is difficult sometimes, especially during workouts that "are made for me," but instead of falling deeper into depression and obsessing with "failing" I turned it around and put my energy in #1, #2, & #4. Supporting and constructively judging others has become a priority, and strangely enough it's rather rewarding to be the cheerleader! 
Of course, I have also seen true colors in others. While most are supportive and sympathetic of my current physical state, others have shown that they do not care, but are rather "happy" that there is one girl less to compete with. This is the sad truth that is rarely talked about in the welcoming CrossFit community. There can be tension (maybe more between the girls than the guys?!) among girls. 

#4 Developing Mental Strength

Mental visualization is a useful tool,
especially when you are injured. 

Being a CrossFit athlete not only means to  be strong and fit, but it also tests your commitment,  determination, perseverance, and work ethic. While some argue that certain kind of people do CrossFit, you can learn or strengthen your mentality towards the sport and your training. 
Mental toughness is not a new skill, but oftentimes overlooked, and certainly not explicitly coached or taught in a CrossFit class. 
Yet, many of the skills that make up your mental strength, are easily trained if you put in some effort and work. 
Using the time of my injury has been a blessing in the sense that I had time to catch up on some readings about sports psychology and motivational as well as performance studies in athletes. One of the skills is mental visualization. Maybe you don't want to brush up on good form and technique while you cannot actively participate in CrossFit? Visualizing yourself performing will translate into your actual performance when you return. 
For me, that means for example, that I have been watching every Muscle up tutorial online, rewatched the videos of myself getting up in the rings, and imagining myself doing so when I return. Instead of muscle memory, I am actively building mental memory and the ability to translate thoughts into action for the day that I have regained the amount of strength that I will need to perform.
Without time off from surgery, I would probably not have invested as much into perfecting form and developing the mentality of being able to achieve and perform. The physical test will be here sooner than later. I am enjoying the preparation that allows me to believe and visualize that I can do this.

CrossFit Withdrawal

While the Games ended today - Chapaeu, Froning and Leblanc-Bazinet - but  I already feel signs of "CrossFit withdrawal" that are expressed in mental obsession with, and anxiety about my performance and level of strength. I have been working so hard to get where I was and really don't want to lose any of my strength but instead I want to keep working on my weaknesses. But I cannot. I had to quit.

I am starting to freak out.
I don't want to start over nor do I want to accept it if I need to.

I'm trying to tell myself, that it will be ok, that I will just get super strong legs and work on my core. And that's what I am doing, but honestly, I feel like I won't be able to get my chest, shoulder and arm strength back as quickly as I would like to when I can work it again. If I can work it again: 

I'm also getting scared about my gymnastics. I mean I really need all he time I can get to work on my muscle up, my handstand walks, and aside of that my snatch. Let's say, I can return to my normal workout style in October, how long will it take me to get my strength back? How fast can I work on butterfly, and other drills?

Ugh, the metcon part will be ok. I have big tank and I usually only need a couple of months to get that in shape. But, the rest... 

And if I need hand surgery also I'm going to scream! Seriously. 

My game plan for now is: 

1. Rest my left hand and pray that the knot will just disappear;

2. Work on my core and legs;

3. Get the epidural injection in my neck;

4. Work on nutrition;

5. Stay sane and breathe.

Whiteboard obsessions

Ever been to a CrossFit gym? If so, you've probably seen a whiteboard with lots of names and numbers, and wondered "what the heck?!"

That was my first thought at least, whenever I began CrossFit. 

But, soon I found myself drawn to the board. I checked out other peeps' numbers and wondered if I would ever be able to get that Rx sign next to mine. I still don't have it on all WODs - especially not now that I can't do any upper body movements - but then, once I had it, I kept wondering if I can shave off seconds and minutes of my WODs - especially the benchmark WODs. I found myself liking the competition and I found myself liking getting  better at movements. 

I worked on getting double unders for probably 3 months after failing miserably on 13.3 and I still need to get more comfortable with them. Without the whiteboard I would not know this.  

The whiteboard constantly reveals to me what I need to work on. And of course, it makes you feel pretty good to see your name and number shows that you beat others'. Within a year I have improved tremendously not only on WODs but on lifts. I have kept pretty good track of my numbers since I started, and cannot complain that I was not getting stronger. 

Until now. Until my injury put my CrossFit life on hold. I should have taken that shoulder pain more seriously back in March. I should have rested and not competed at local competitions. But I did not imagine that it was that serious. So March through May I worked through the pain, even worked more on handstand walking and muscle ups. I wanted to keep my numbers up on the board.

I paid the price in June, when I realized that I needed to stop. Some days in May had already shown me that I needed to get this figured out. I started Physical Therapy, but whenever there was a WOD that would allow me to do well, I would do it. I hit lots of PRs April and May and strength-wise was probably right behind Andrea Ager at our gym. Deadlift 355#, Back squat 235#, Front squat  210#, Squat Clean 190#, clean and Jerk 180#, Jerk 185#, just snatch, press and bench were not improving. I hated the days at the gym on which the board would reveal my weaknesses, and I truly hated having to modify WODs. I was. terrified of losing upper body strength. However, cervical radiculopathy means weakness. So, I am in pain and I have lost strength. I can't do anything about it - not even work through the pain - the strength is simply gone in my left arm. 

Now, the whiteboard reminds me everyday that it's all relative. It's more important for me to get healthy. At the same time I need to make sure I do what I can until I am again able to do pullups, toe to bars, dips, swings, and all. I am scared that I will have to relearn what has been difficult for me already. But I am even more scared that I will not be able to bring myself back on the whiteboard at all. Not only because I am competitive and like to have good numbers on there, but also because only the whiteboard really shows me how I am doing comparatively to others and how I am improving. 

I have eight more months before the next Regionals and I really want to kick ass on the big whiteboard that is the leaderboard. Making it on a team for MBS would be awesome. Qualifying as an individual seems out of reach considering that I will have to relearn a lot of the basics in a short time frame. But I can work on making my legs even more valuable and appreciate them for what thy make me do. Core work and legwork will dominate for another 1-2 months. Then, I hope I will be able to climb back up on the board and prove to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to. 

I'm thankful for the whiteboard because it is what helps me keep my eyes on my goals. Even though it is sometimes a painful reminder of how much mental and physical work I have ahead of me.