My Truth about Staying in Shape during Pregnancy

Before I got pregnant I was in pretty good shape and I always told myself that when I get pregnant I will do everything to stay in shape. I said I didn't understand how women would not work out or how they would use pregnancy as an excuse. Well, hello reality! I very well understand  it now. 

During the first half of my first trimester I was still recovering from neck surgery but had kept my shape pretty well considering the circumstances. Then, nausea hit me and it wasn't just the kind of nausea that would go away with the simple tricks your doctor or the media would tell you. I had (and still have) extreme nausea and take medication to help ease it at least a little bit. 

Anyway, I still managed to make myself workout at least 4 times a week but then I got sick with the flu which I dragged with me for an entire month. It was  impossible for me to work out. I walked the dogs - that was it. I could watch myself, or my fitness that is, go to hell. I felt (and still feel) like a fat, lazy kid who enjoys eating more than physical activity. It scares me at times, because it is not like me at all.

Well after a month of laziness and overindulgence in "bad" or comfort foods I finally made it back to the gym again: 

We CrossFitters keep track of our times and I was by far the slowest on the board today. A year ago I would have laughed about this workout: today I cried. 

I realized that I am not that fit mom I always wanted to be. It is in fact not always that simple to be what you vision yourself to be, I already knew that, but I am very determined and I persevere. But this got mom ideal just doesn't seem to be working out for me at all even though I was in great shape before or when I got pregnant. 

At first, I felt like a failure, as if I let myself down because I let myself "go". But my truth is that I just listened to my body and that was to take a one month break and also to eat whatever I wanted. In the end I will be ok. Working out today felt like I started crossfit for the first time in my life but it also showed me that it is ok to be slower and weaker. I get a chance to start over in perfecting my movements and technique. 

It's not easy to accept to be less strong and slower than I used to but it is what it is and it does not mean that I am weak. After all, my body is changing in ways I have never experienced it. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is ok to be imperfect. Even though it is painful not to meet your own standards and ideals, it does not take away your worth. It is all relative. Life is unpredictable and provides the greatest challenges. All we need to do is accepting our truths. 

Weeks 15-17 pregnant, sick, flying and NO exercise

Week 15: The week before Thanksgiving I started to get sick. I worked out Monday and Tuesday before but probably shouldn't have. I felt worst on Thankagiving, and better again on Sunday. It was quite difficult to not work out knowing I was going to be gone for two weeks when working out would be even more of a challenge. 

Week 16: I flew to Germany and felt googd the day of the travel until I arrived and sat in the car from Düsseldorf airport back to Cologne. I had to throw up quite a bit. Maybe because I hadn't been taking my diclegis (nausea/morning sickness meds). I had another episode driving to Bremen for a day the following Thursday. I decided to hold of with working out until I felt better. So I did and I went running and did a mini body weight wod Saturday the 6th. I felt good while exercising and wanted to keep doing it every day, but the next day I started to feel sick again with a sore throat, cough and runny nose. The rainy and cold weather didn't help either. 

I gained 5ibs duringn that one, well two weeks of not wilting out and I am scared to death I will keep gaining. It's not hat I could say it's because I am pregnant. It's truly because I am sick, lazy and eating a lot of food, including loads of Christmas treats. I whether my food evey day in my log and even though I do not have a surplus of calories I am gaining- clearly because of what I am eating. I am starting to be terrified about weight gain. I am starting to fall into very old patterns and being sick is not helping to overcome those yet. 

Yet I know I need to get over this cold before I can really start tackling my activity decrease to increase it again. 

Week 17 has just started and I am about to lose my mind over the whole gaining I weight and losing fitness issue. 

The holidays need to be over. I need to be healthy and fit again. This pregnancy has been far from enjoyable and I have thoughts of failure creeping in and fears that I won't be able to return to my old shape after the pregnancy... 

Where is my determination and discipline these days? Is this normal in pregnancy? To doubt everything and be frustrated with everything?

Ugh. 

Half-marathon row anyone?

I did it. 

Before my surgery, I think sometime in June, I rowed a 10k and I remember I did not like it very much. It took me about 45minutes. The last record I have of a 5k for time is at 21:25 from January 2014. Obviously being pregnant and being 3 months post neck surgery I was not expecting to be anywhere close to that today.

Originally, I wanted to just row an hour, but I was over 10k after an hour and told myself to go to 15k and see. At 15k I felt like it was not worth stopping so I went all the way. 

I did not stop once: just did a few one-armed stroked to take sips of water or change songs on my phone. 

The next time I do this, I will need to have a playlist, that's for sure. 

The hardest were 6k-9k and then 18-21k everything else did not feel bad at all. Every now and ten people would come stop and chat, and that helped a bit.

I only went at like 80-90% and could carry out a conversation through the row. 

Bottom line, it was fun. Next time I hope to be doing it at 90-95% - obviously post baby but I learned that this was not awful at all and actually quite enjoyable. 

Here is my result: 

A split time of 2:11 was only happening in the beginning and the end. I stuck around 2:20 for most of it with the occasional 3:10 one-armed strokes :)

So, if you have nothing to do this weekend, go ahead and row! 

Nutrition Team Challenge - Day 1

I decided to do a nutrition and performance challenge at my gym. It started yesterday with a pre-WOD. 

Still in e brace I had to modify it of course: 

3RM deadlift and Fight Gone Bad

I hit 125 and 207 reps with a 6# ball and 35# bar. 

It was pretty exhausting but SOOOO much fun to be back. 

I started working out a bit more since Wednesday when I was cleared to do so by my PT guy. 

I am concerned a little bit about some pain in my shoulder. I may need to get that checked out again to rule out anything else. 

But my scar is healing well.

The challenge started well, although I didn't gain any bonuses for great performance. I hope I'll improve by the end of it. 

We had measurements and pictures taken.

My weight was at 147# with 115 LBM. 

My goal is to lose some fat and gain some more LBM. So ideally, I'll stay around 145#.

We have a 30 day strict paleo rule after which we can add in dairy and some other items. I think the 30 days will be challenging but today went surprisingly well and I am pretty stoked about cleanigg up my diet and getting back into even better shape than before my surgery! 

Here is to health and fitness! 

Modified wodding

Felt pretty good the last couple of days. Did a lot of cleaning around the house and yard work. I do feel pain in my arm with certain movements but overall it's been better. 

Trying to go heavy but I don't know if I'm scared to put on more weight, or just don't have the strength for it. 

But that is not important right now. I am listening to my body and that is good. I always have though which makes it almost more frustrating that I am hurt. The doctor said it's an injury that developed over time, so there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. 

It's going to put me to a reset. But until the reset point I am going to do what I can. At the gym, at home, and in general. 

Mentally this has taught me a lot. It's put things into perspective. I have learned to be even more supportive of other athletes but I also had to learn how support for an injured looks like - and how some may be thankful I am out. 

There is a fine line like with so many things. Psychologically, it's just really interesting to observe.

Despite all the challeging moments of pain and/or depression I can say that I am definitely becoming a better athlete because of this experience.

Monday

Ironscap

WOD 1 

4rds

.5mile airdyne

16 alternating 25# DB curls

20 tire step ups

WOD 2

4rds

500m row

1' plank

20 leg raises

Mobi

Tuesday

Ironscap

Backsquat

3-3-3-3

Up to 80kg

1-1-1-1

Up to 100kg

5-5-5-5 up to 70kg

Row 500m in 2:00

1' plank

5 of each: pull up negatives/24"box step ups/ring rows/leg raises

Row 500m in 1:57

1' plank

5 of each: pull up negatives/24"box step ups/ring rows/leg raises

Row 500m in 2:07

1' plank

5 of each: pull up negatives/24"box step ups/ring rows/leg raises

Row 500m in 2:04

1' plank

5 of each: pull up negatives/24"box step ups/ring rows/leg raises

Cool down 1k row 4:45

Mobi