4 positive side-effects of being an injured Crossfitter

Being injured sucks, but I believe that in every negative there is something positive. 
If you can't see it right away, go look for it! It's all about how you approach your situation, and how you turn your mind towards positive thoughts and use your energy to strengthen your mentality.

Over the last months, I found the following to be true for me.

#1 Detaching from the Whiteboard

The whiteboard and its numbers are just relative. 

Many of us get attached to the whiteboard. I remember when I started CrossFit, I didn't even think I would be able to do a WOD in a "good" time or rx. A couple months in, I was able to rx, got my first pull up, toe to bar, and - to my surprise - noticed an increased time spent in front of the whiteboard. It had become a motivator and a "check-in point" before and after each workout; a way to measure not only my gains but also where I stood in comparison to others at my gym. Signing up for the Opens and completing the open WODs sometimes even fairly successful put this motivation on a whole new level... 

Then came injury. At first it was difficult to see others do so much better but with a little bit of time, I learned to detach myself from the whiteboard. And it's been cleansig in a way. I admit, whenever there is a WOD that I know I would have kicked butt, I take a look at scores and take a mental note. I may even do some of the WODs as part of my training plan when I return - and I know it will be motivating. 

#2 Mastering WOD Modifications

 Listening to the body sometimes means
to not put more weight on the bar

We turn to our Coaches when we are unsure how to do a movement or if we feel like we need to modify. They guide us and advice us. Where I train, we can usually chose to do the WOD at one of three levels, with L3=Rx. Also, our coaches are not only attentive and knowledgeable  but a great resource for ideas and help.
However, if you are injured over a prolonged time, you quickly learn to come up with your own modifications and WODs. I am not saying that my WODs are great but they allow me to use weights and equipment that I can handle or that I even have at home. 
Even when injured, I want to feel good about my workout and still challenge myself in ways that I am ok with. After all, the coaches are not in my body and only I really know what I need and can do. 
That's what's so wonderful about CrossFit: you can (learn to) modify everything. You won't be able to compare yourself to others on the whiteboard anymore, and if that's what you were thinking, how about you read #1 again. :)

#3 Seeing True Colors 

Being injured shows you whom you can trust
and who you can count on. 

We all preach the welcoming nature of the CrossFit community as a whole. And it's true, if someone asks me why I CrossFit, I don't mention last that I love the community, the people, and the support. BUT, it only goes that far. Before I was injured, I was getting stronger and performed pretty well at my gym. A PR here, a sub 3' Grace time there, you get the idea. I am myself a competitive person, so being injured was surely the last thing I wanted to experience while improving strength and fitness. But it happened. 

As the injury creeped up on me and I had to go down in weight or slow down my pace, I started noticing that others who I would usually beat would pass me and triumph. This is where I began seeing true colors in myself and others. In the beginning, it was very hard for me to let others beat me, but I had to listen to my body and not my competition. It still is difficult sometimes, especially during workouts that "are made for me," but instead of falling deeper into depression and obsessing with "failing" I turned it around and put my energy in #1, #2, & #4. Supporting and constructively judging others has become a priority, and strangely enough it's rather rewarding to be the cheerleader! 
Of course, I have also seen true colors in others. While most are supportive and sympathetic of my current physical state, others have shown that they do not care, but are rather "happy" that there is one girl less to compete with. This is the sad truth that is rarely talked about in the welcoming CrossFit community. There can be tension (maybe more between the girls than the guys?!) among girls. 

#4 Developing Mental Strength

Mental visualization is a useful tool,
especially when you are injured. 

Being a CrossFit athlete not only means to  be strong and fit, but it also tests your commitment,  determination, perseverance, and work ethic. While some argue that certain kind of people do CrossFit, you can learn or strengthen your mentality towards the sport and your training. 
Mental toughness is not a new skill, but oftentimes overlooked, and certainly not explicitly coached or taught in a CrossFit class. 
Yet, many of the skills that make up your mental strength, are easily trained if you put in some effort and work. 
Using the time of my injury has been a blessing in the sense that I had time to catch up on some readings about sports psychology and motivational as well as performance studies in athletes. One of the skills is mental visualization. Maybe you don't want to brush up on good form and technique while you cannot actively participate in CrossFit? Visualizing yourself performing will translate into your actual performance when you return. 
For me, that means for example, that I have been watching every Muscle up tutorial online, rewatched the videos of myself getting up in the rings, and imagining myself doing so when I return. Instead of muscle memory, I am actively building mental memory and the ability to translate thoughts into action for the day that I have regained the amount of strength that I will need to perform.
Without time off from surgery, I would probably not have invested as much into perfecting form and developing the mentality of being able to achieve and perform. The physical test will be here sooner than later. I am enjoying the preparation that allows me to believe and visualize that I can do this.

Intune: Mental and Physical Balance through CrossFit

I don't know why CrossFit has been so much more than just exercise for me. In my life, I have probably tried every sport on the planet, from swimming or running, over a common gym membership and aerobics classes, to lacrosse, soccer, and horseback riding. Yet, only CrossFit really helped me connect and consequently balance the physical with the mental. 

For example, when I used to run, I mainly did it to keep weight off or lose more. I don't think I ever really enjoyed running. Although, I kept telling myself that I did, and after the first couple of miles I didn't mind it and always felt good afterwards. Running was yet more a means to an end. 

Swimming, on the contrary, I really enjoyed, but I never really got as serious about it as that I would have given it more thought. Plus, I never really felt that comfortable in my bathing suit. A stupid struggle that developed out of the society-induced thinking that I needed to look a certain way. Nonetheless, I went regularly, and during the summer time, I would get a tan along with the swim. 

Horseback riding has always been therapeutic to me, but yet again, it's been more a sport for pure enjoyment. Plus, I never owned a horse and moved around quite a bit over the last 10 years so that I never established a connection with that one horse.

Going to the gym started to get boring but again I stuck with it again mainly to not gain weight and tone my muscles a bit. It was usually unstructured, or just the same routines, day in and day out - no pushing myself and pretty boring at times. Adding some of the classes was fun but I never really got into it. I guess, I'm not really a group sport or team sports person. At least in environments in which I felt like I didn't fit in. 

Those experiences boil down to having felt uncomfortable and not as fit as others, not as good as them. Maybe, I could have but I just never felt I would. And I constantly compared myself. 

When I started bikram yoga, I slowly began to realize that comparing is not helpful, but with all the mirrors in the room and all the positions that did not bring out the prettiest sides of me, it was hard for me to focus. I enjoyed it but again I mainly did it for the benefits it apparently provided. 

Why it was so different with CrossFit?! I have no clear explanation, but I know that even though I felt uncomfortable in the group settings at first, I started to see results quickly and was encouraged by the people around me. 

The community in CrossFit definitely plays a big role. Being supported by those around me and being a part of a community made a big difference. 

Fact is that I have never felt mentally and physically challenged the way I have with CrossFit, and it's a good challenge, one that makes me not only a fitter but also a better person. I learned to pay attention to the signals my body send. In the past, I ignored many of them. I thought nothing would ever happen to me and if I felt an ache I would take a pill and rest, but now it's different. 

I try to find causes so that I can prevent aches in the future. I eat healthy to allow my body to heal itself, and so that I do not need to rely on pills. I take care of myself and change things up, or rest, so that I don't cause more harm but allow myself to get better. 

In 10 days I will do a nutrition challenge that my gym organizes. I'm excited because we work in teams and besides getting in shape, we can win something. Incentives and accountability are in check, and it's going to be one of those community-driven things that I love about CrossFit! 

I am a happier and more balanced persons because of Crossfit. Even though I am currently not actively wodding in classes at MBS, I am still part of the community. And MBS has the best community :)

Mental and physical balance are rooted in a support system and I am happy I found mine in CrossFit, at MBS. 

Last day before surgery

I vacuumed the house one more time, washed a load of clothes and dishes and was surprised with a giant dish of paleo lasagna from a friend! I am so grateful for the friends I have made here in not even a year. Before crossfit I was not good at meeting people and making friends, so this is a blessing and shows how awesome crossfit (or the people who do it) is :)

I stopped at the gym for a quick WOD and went swimming with another friend later today. My husbands mom arrived to help out around the house a bit, and my husband took off the next two days. I will be fine. It feels good to nein good hands and surrounded by good people :)

Iron scap

Bench

10-10-5-5-3-3

45-65-75-75-88-88#

10x10' Lsits on p-bar

1' plank

4x 10/10 ghd

10rds

10/10 tire step ups

10 44# kb swings

4x7 ring rows

Mobi

45' swim with kick board 

In 24 hours it's over. I am hungry. 

Giving up is not an option

We all have been to points in our lives at which we began to question:

Which route should I take?

Will I make the right choice?

Or, is it even worth it?

Many give up right at this point. They listen to all the nay-sayers, the non-believers, and those who simply do not know what we humans are actually capable of. Trapped in a system that is sick in its own way, I can't blame anyone who is unable to break free. I have been there myself probably more than I would like to admit. Yet, I have learned fromy past experiences that truly anything is possible. I just have to keep reminding myself of that lower that lives within.

When I started crossfit almost 2 years ago, I had no idea of what it would actually do to me and how important it would become in my life. At the same time, and as much as (or because of the fact that) I live crossfit so much, I need to look inside myself to anchor my feelings and to not get carried away in the storm I am I finding myself in right now.

Crossfit has changed me.

Yes, I have become physically strong. In fact, stronger than I ever thought I could be, but while the weight on my bar increased, I began to shed the burdens I was carrying inside. I had always tried to fit in. I wanted to be accepted, appreciated, acknowledged and recognized. In crossfit, this seemed to be happening. Even without looking good on the outside. I mean, have you ever seen the faces we make when we lift heavy weights? And for me, I turn tomato red with any physical activity already. A sweaty mess. So, I rid myself of the burden of becoming yet another "perfect woman," and felt I was returning to who I was supposed to be. A strong woman - inside and out.

But it's not just the sport hat did this to me. It's the community. Never have I felt more welcomed, accepted, and supported than in the crossfit community.

In fact, without it - I guarantee - I would have already given up and surrendered. I would be miserable. And worst of all, I would not have acted in my beat interest. My "fear of failure" would have won over my "thirst for success." Yes, I would be so miserable.

Although I must admit that i am getting increasingly frustrated about being injured and especially about being unable to do what I love (insert CrossFit), I am starting to appreciate the side of me that is usually pushed to the side: vulnerability.

It is difficult to step outside and see my neighbors who are all about 20-40 years older than me do yard work, walk their dogs or even go for a jog. It is even more difficult to get in the car and pass runners, cyclists and those, on the contrary, who sit at the bus stop smoking a cigarette throwing away heir health... Most difficult, however, is to go to the gym to do simple stretching exercises and easy, modifed movements while everyone around me is rigging the PR bell - loud and proud - as they should be.

Being supportive of them is important to me. I can be happy with them,bbut I admit that their successes can taste bitter sweet. This is where I am being tested, and this is where I grow stronger. I feed from this. I may not use the fuel just now, but I will when I return.

As much as I hate being injured, as much as I hate not being in control of my body, I am convinced that setbacks like these are put in our ways to challenge us to new levels, to overcome the impossible, and to advance in a way that we simply did not expect.

Most importantly: GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION!

Here are two stories (one in German and one in English) that basically talk about willpower, not giving up, and the possibilty of the impossible:

The German article is about Sami Khedira, a German soccer player (Nationalmannschaft) who suffered a typical soccer injury: Kreuzbandriss (= rupture of cruciate ligament). His quick recovery is said to be a combination of both, excellent medical help and his hard work. Two important factors in anyone's recovery. I'm clearly shooting for my part, and so far I am consulting any source I can to get the best medical help available to me.

http://www.dfb.de/news/de/training-und-wissen/das-kreuz-mit-dem-kreuzband/61049.html

In this one, we learn about Miranda Oldroyd, a female crossfit athlete who had a car accident that almost cost her her life. Her story is inspirational and reminds me of my situation. I am not going to give up. I'd rather become the beast of airsquats and pistols but I will not make my injury define me.

http://espn.go.com/espnw/athletes-life/article/11250303/espnw-how-crossfit-saved-miranda-oldroyd-life