My Truth about Staying in Shape during Pregnancy

Before I got pregnant I was in pretty good shape and I always told myself that when I get pregnant I will do everything to stay in shape. I said I didn't understand how women would not work out or how they would use pregnancy as an excuse. Well, hello reality! I very well understand  it now. 

During the first half of my first trimester I was still recovering from neck surgery but had kept my shape pretty well considering the circumstances. Then, nausea hit me and it wasn't just the kind of nausea that would go away with the simple tricks your doctor or the media would tell you. I had (and still have) extreme nausea and take medication to help ease it at least a little bit. 

Anyway, I still managed to make myself workout at least 4 times a week but then I got sick with the flu which I dragged with me for an entire month. It was  impossible for me to work out. I walked the dogs - that was it. I could watch myself, or my fitness that is, go to hell. I felt (and still feel) like a fat, lazy kid who enjoys eating more than physical activity. It scares me at times, because it is not like me at all.

Well after a month of laziness and overindulgence in "bad" or comfort foods I finally made it back to the gym again: 

We CrossFitters keep track of our times and I was by far the slowest on the board today. A year ago I would have laughed about this workout: today I cried. 

I realized that I am not that fit mom I always wanted to be. It is in fact not always that simple to be what you vision yourself to be, I already knew that, but I am very determined and I persevere. But this got mom ideal just doesn't seem to be working out for me at all even though I was in great shape before or when I got pregnant. 

At first, I felt like a failure, as if I let myself down because I let myself "go". But my truth is that I just listened to my body and that was to take a one month break and also to eat whatever I wanted. In the end I will be ok. Working out today felt like I started crossfit for the first time in my life but it also showed me that it is ok to be slower and weaker. I get a chance to start over in perfecting my movements and technique. 

It's not easy to accept to be less strong and slower than I used to but it is what it is and it does not mean that I am weak. After all, my body is changing in ways I have never experienced it. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is ok to be imperfect. Even though it is painful not to meet your own standards and ideals, it does not take away your worth. It is all relative. Life is unpredictable and provides the greatest challenges. All we need to do is accepting our truths.