Second Night and Day Post OP

I slept 4 hours straight and then took a muscle relaxer. My cat was keeping me up a bit. Then I fell back asleep around 6 and slept a couple more hours. Today, it felt like my left arm and shoulder pain was returning. Yet, the pain that I haven't felt in several weeks seems to return. I guess it is due to the swelling and I am going to stay optimistic and believe that that is the case. I will talk to my surgeon tomorrow. Maybe it was a bit premature to be excited about not having any more pain in my left arm right post op... 

I have to stay positive though. I have to rest. Maybe tomorrow, I will lay in bed instead of sitting in the recliner. The neck brace really bothers me. It hurts me. My incision, neck, and the area between my shoulder blades hurt a bit, too. Just cramps, spasms and aches. My staples in my head bother me as well. It's less pleasant today than it was at the hospital and I guess I wished I had stayed a little longer... But I was only approved for 1 night. 

Well, I ordered a wedge for my bed do I hope when that gets here tomorrow I will be able to sleep more comfortably. Also will not work at all tomorrow but rest... 

I have to remind myself: it's just day 2 post op. But I need to be more careful with movements and BLT.

This is not easy. 

Giving up is not an option

We all have been to points in our lives at which we began to question:

Which route should I take?

Will I make the right choice?

Or, is it even worth it?

Many give up right at this point. They listen to all the nay-sayers, the non-believers, and those who simply do not know what we humans are actually capable of. Trapped in a system that is sick in its own way, I can't blame anyone who is unable to break free. I have been there myself probably more than I would like to admit. Yet, I have learned fromy past experiences that truly anything is possible. I just have to keep reminding myself of that lower that lives within.

When I started crossfit almost 2 years ago, I had no idea of what it would actually do to me and how important it would become in my life. At the same time, and as much as (or because of the fact that) I live crossfit so much, I need to look inside myself to anchor my feelings and to not get carried away in the storm I am I finding myself in right now.

Crossfit has changed me.

Yes, I have become physically strong. In fact, stronger than I ever thought I could be, but while the weight on my bar increased, I began to shed the burdens I was carrying inside. I had always tried to fit in. I wanted to be accepted, appreciated, acknowledged and recognized. In crossfit, this seemed to be happening. Even without looking good on the outside. I mean, have you ever seen the faces we make when we lift heavy weights? And for me, I turn tomato red with any physical activity already. A sweaty mess. So, I rid myself of the burden of becoming yet another "perfect woman," and felt I was returning to who I was supposed to be. A strong woman - inside and out.

But it's not just the sport hat did this to me. It's the community. Never have I felt more welcomed, accepted, and supported than in the crossfit community.

In fact, without it - I guarantee - I would have already given up and surrendered. I would be miserable. And worst of all, I would not have acted in my beat interest. My "fear of failure" would have won over my "thirst for success." Yes, I would be so miserable.

Although I must admit that i am getting increasingly frustrated about being injured and especially about being unable to do what I love (insert CrossFit), I am starting to appreciate the side of me that is usually pushed to the side: vulnerability.

It is difficult to step outside and see my neighbors who are all about 20-40 years older than me do yard work, walk their dogs or even go for a jog. It is even more difficult to get in the car and pass runners, cyclists and those, on the contrary, who sit at the bus stop smoking a cigarette throwing away heir health... Most difficult, however, is to go to the gym to do simple stretching exercises and easy, modifed movements while everyone around me is rigging the PR bell - loud and proud - as they should be.

Being supportive of them is important to me. I can be happy with them,bbut I admit that their successes can taste bitter sweet. This is where I am being tested, and this is where I grow stronger. I feed from this. I may not use the fuel just now, but I will when I return.

As much as I hate being injured, as much as I hate not being in control of my body, I am convinced that setbacks like these are put in our ways to challenge us to new levels, to overcome the impossible, and to advance in a way that we simply did not expect.

Most importantly: GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION!

Here are two stories (one in German and one in English) that basically talk about willpower, not giving up, and the possibilty of the impossible:

The German article is about Sami Khedira, a German soccer player (Nationalmannschaft) who suffered a typical soccer injury: Kreuzbandriss (= rupture of cruciate ligament). His quick recovery is said to be a combination of both, excellent medical help and his hard work. Two important factors in anyone's recovery. I'm clearly shooting for my part, and so far I am consulting any source I can to get the best medical help available to me.

http://www.dfb.de/news/de/training-und-wissen/das-kreuz-mit-dem-kreuzband/61049.html

In this one, we learn about Miranda Oldroyd, a female crossfit athlete who had a car accident that almost cost her her life. Her story is inspirational and reminds me of my situation. I am not going to give up. I'd rather become the beast of airsquats and pistols but I will not make my injury define me.

http://espn.go.com/espnw/athletes-life/article/11250303/espnw-how-crossfit-saved-miranda-oldroyd-life

Recovery

Yes, I don't even have approval for surgery yet, but obviously, I am interested in recovery and all that comes along with it.
My doctor said if I have the surgery in the beginning/mid of August, I should count on 2 weeks in the soft brace, and be able to start work in September (I am a university professor, so no heavy lifting really). Then easing back into physical activity and doing PT, and after only 6 weeks I should be fine. Thus, I will be out for 2 months plus the 3+ months pre-op during which I already had to take it easy. This pause surely scares me. Basically, having to start over. I am telling myself though that all the core work and squats I am doing now and probably will be doing post-op for a while, will be beneficial in the long run. Eating a healthy diet has also become more important, so who knows what impact those "little" changes may bring as well.


Here is a great read about Peyton Manning and his road to recovery from the Washington Post, from October 2013. By no means do I compare  myself to him, ha, but I am pretty athletic and competitive, but this is encouraging and inspiring to say the least.

Pain Cycles

Today, I was about to count it day 5 of feeling fairly good. On the scale system, I think I have been on a 5-6/7. Then it started flaring up again in the evening to a 7/8. Not sure what aggravated it. My pain is characterized by wandering sharp and pulsing pain either in my shoulder, shoulder blade or upper arm (bi/tri, though c6/c7 is not affected by the herniation...) and forarm, elbow, wrist. Sometimes it feels more like stabbing sometimes it's just dull and achy. My neck barely hurts, neither does my head. But I do get a stiff neck from all the muscle tension every now and again. My thumb and forearm numbness comes and goes as well along with tingling and pins and needles pain usually down my arm and in my hand. Ugh. Right now it's pulsing and sharp pain in my elbow and wrist, a little but in my shoulder blade area... It's gotten worse over the course of the day. Let's hope I'll get some decent rest with just a few ibuprofen and 1 oxy.

I broke out in a rash that I am not sure of where it comes from so I am trying to not use too much medication.

The PT session on Monday left me sore for the next day; Wednesday I had a dental procedure that took over 2 hours. It's more than possible that the sitting in the dentist chair caused some of the worsening that I am feeling today.

I also took the dogs for walks yesterday and today. They didn't pull too much though so I don't think that was it.

Maybe doing backsquats, planks, and core work at the gym? Or getting on the airdyne? I am not sure... But I needed to do it to not go crazy... I need to ask my doc again about what physical activity he thinks I can or should do.

I only back squatted 210# - so about 25# below my pr and it felt kind of hard. It's truly frustrating to witness my own strength loss. I can't do a real push-up anymore. I do not have the strength in my left arm. It just gives in.

Seeing everyone else pr and sweat isn't easy either but I want to be supportive, even if it's hard and sometimes feels like I am lying to myself; however, I need to have faith in the process and remember that it will be ok.

Spinal Surgeon #2

I went to another surgeon in South Denver today to get a second opinion. I liked this doctor much more than the first. He was more personable and professional, took his time to explain everything to me and my husband and did not rule out non-surgical options right away.

I still have another appointment set up but kind of feel it's not necessary anymore (nor do I have time to wait any longer). As I just implied the first surgeon I saw didn't take much time to explain or discuss my case, and didn't even consider non-surgical options.

So, surgeon #2 laid out the pros and cons of possible four options that my case would allow for - in his opinion.

(1) Epidural steroid injections

(2) Anterior cervical discectomy and fusion

(3) Anterior disc replacement

(4) Posterior cervical discectomy



We logically ruled out epidural steroid injections because of (a) failure of other conservative treatment including rest, meds (anti-inflammatories, steroids, narcotics for pain), physical therapy, dry needling, chiropractic manipulation, and (b) the location and size of the herniation.



Left with the remaining hree surgical options. But which one should I do? he compared my case to Peyton Manning and his fusion and showed me X-rays of successful fusions he did on athletes. Manning had (4) done but it didn't work out so (2) was his next step. While I was set on disc replacement over fusion after having done my own research - relying more on European studies than US-based research, I began to doubt this was really the right idea. Yet, I kind of excluded option (4)posterior cervical discectomy.



Nonetheless, this procedure actually shows high success rates, yet, it still may lead to one of the other options down the road (think Peyton Manning).

So should I go ahead and do (2) anterior cervical discectomy & fusion (Manning did this after (4) failed) or (3) anterior cervical instrumentation (aka replacement).



This surgeon worked with athletes, and said (2) was the standard procedure for elite athletes in high contact/impact sports. (3) However, lacks US-based research although it appears to be the preferred procedure in Europe and South America. and research has been promising.



Thinking it over and taking to my PT, reading yet a few more scholarly articles on the topic and some rational thinking made me second-guess going for a big surgery right away.



So, option (4) is what I decided and now the insurance approval battle has begun again.

Here are the titles and authors of some of he articles I've read and found helpful

In making my decision for the less invasive surgery:





(1) Early outcome of posterior cervical endoscopic discectomy: an alternative treatment choice for physically/socially active patients

by Kim, Chi Heon / Chung, Chun Kee / Kim, Hyun Jib / Jahng, Tae Ahn / Kim, Dong Gyu; 

Journal of Korean Medical Science



(2) Full-endoscopic cervical posterior foraminotomy for the operation of lateral disc herniations using 5.9-mm endoscopes: a prospective, randomized, controlled study. by Ruetten S, et al.
Spine (Phila Pa 1976). 2008 Apr 20;33(9):940-8. doi: 10.1097/BRS.0b013e31816c8b67



(3) Minimally invasive cervical microendoscopic foraminotomy; Initial clinical experience. 

by Fessler RG, Khoo LT 

Neurosurgery 51(Suppl 5):S37-S54, 2002.



(4) Advances in Spinal Stabilization. 

by Haid RW Jr, Subach BR, Rodts GE Jr (eds):

Prog Neurol Surg. Basel, Karger, 2003, vol 16, pp 251-265




(5) This one is open access: http://www.karger.com/Article/FullText/351887?hl=1&q=Cervical%20posterior

Long-Term Results of Anterior versus Posterior Operations for Herniated Cervical Discs: Analysis of 6,000 Patients by Dohrmann G.J. · Hsieh J.C.

Section of Neurosurgery, University of Chicago Medical Center



(6) Outcomes Following Nonoperative and Operative Treatment for Cervical Disc Herniations in National Football League Athletes

by Hsu, Wellington K. MD

Spine Issue: Volume 36(10), 01 May 2011, p 800–805

Back to Blogging about Crossfit

I am back. Over a year later, I decided to really do a blog :)

Long story short, CrossFit changed my life. For the better. I am likely to write more about how and why in other posts. So here are my reasons, why I decided to blog about my experience as a female crossfitter.

First of all, I am a writer. I just finished my dissertation and should be drafting proposals for conferences and publications, however, life got in the way and the only form of typing I can do currently is using my iPhone. I guess, I could try writing proposals with my iPhone, but honestly - and despite the fact that it's pretty much impossible - I don't even have the mental space for that right now.

Brings me to the second reason. I want to share my current journey of being an injured crossfitter who was just getting stronger than ever, dreaming and working towards making it to Regionals in 2015. I'm not saying this dream is crushed, because that's not how my competitive brain works, but I have encountered obstacles that need some more care and caution than just doing some extra credit work at the gym.

I have been diagnosed with a C5/C6 disk herniation, cervical radiculopathy, and foraminal cervical stenosis and as a consequence - my muscles trying to work around this - a kyphotic deformation of my neck vertebrae (loss of cervical lordosis). To sum up

My symptoms: numbness and tingling down my left arm into my thumb, pain in my wrist, elbow, shoulder, tri and biceps, loss of range god motion, grip strength, reflexes, and motor skills. And some neck and back pain. But that's nothing compared to the pain felt in my shoulder and arm. Luckily NO headaches!

While analyzing the causes of my neck problems, I can go far back into my childhood. I was dropped and injured my neck as a toddler, then injured my neck jumping rope (yes, jumping rope) in 4th grade, and passed out one time cleaning up my room ( trying to get my head under the bed) while in high school. I also suffered several whiplash accidents (two during horseback riding, two during snowboarding and two in car accidents). Rest was the prescribed treatment for all of these incidents. I don't think ever had they taken X-rays. All this occurred while still back in Germany.

At any rate, the first time it really became an issue - besides episodes of stiff neck every now and then - was when I became more and more active at CrossFit. Note, that sitting in front of the computer with suboptimal posture for the majority of hours per day added to my already harmed neck.

So, to keep it rather short today, I will follow up soon to let you all know how it all got worse, what I have been trying to "heal" it and what will be ahead on my road to recovery, and on my path to becoming a competitive CrossFitter.

In the meantime, let's cheer for Germany to win the World Cup today!

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"People will keep saying something is impossible until someone shows them that it is possible."