Well, already during my first trimester, I noticed that I simply could not do it. As much as I wanted it, I was physically or mentally (or both) not able to do what I had promised myself. While it's been very hard during the first trimester primarily because of nausea and shortness of breath, I have been sick all of my second trimester so far. At first, I pushed through but then I realized that what I was doing was not good for my body, so how could it be good for my baby.
It's been an internal struggle and I had to surrender myself to it eventually. Almost 4 weeks without physical activity does not make me feel good, but at the same time I know that I made the right choice.
Yet, I am scared, because I am getting "fat and lazy". I now understand why women gain weight during pregnancy, why some say they just cannot work out and I can also see how you get sucked in a cycle that will keep you lazy and getting even fatter. I sometimes think, I shouldn't care and just worry about it once the baby is here but I am also scared I won't find my way back into training and good shape. Right now I am just scared to be in even worse shape Han I would think I should be. I hate to disappoint myself. And I truly hate that I have to admit that I am not that woman, not that pregnant mother-to-be who can kick butt despite pregnancy. In fact, there are so many things I probably could still make myself do that I simply don't because... Because I don't know! No reason! I feel like I have given up. And I feel like this baby is taking it all away.
It's going to be an interesting second have of my pregnancy and I hope I find some enthusiasm and energy to fight my "laziness" that's come about by my nausea and tiredness and feeling off.
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