Our baby at 9 weeks!
Food:
I am starting to feel a bit better and my appetite seems to be returning. I am still taking diclegis to help nausea and vomiting. Sometimes I am even craving certain foods (primarily complex carbs, such as Pumpernickel) but I have another week of my nutrition and lifestyle challenge to go thorough before I can indulge "limitless" in dairy and carbs again.
I am currently eating tons of fruits (smoothies, bananas and nuts are my go to foods) I have notice weight gain in areas that bother me. Though he scale, hasn't changed much. Obviously, this may be further pushed by being pregnant, feeling bloated and generally "full".
Workouts:
I worked out 5 times this week and noticed strength loss. Not only on upper body movements and lifts but also in my legs which is very strange and unusual for me. I was able to Frontsquat 175 but it was super heavy and my jerk only went up to 125 this week. Not to speak of my miserable attempts to dip and do strict pullups. While I am still trying to renounce and recover from neck surgery, I am not happy.
WOD times also are significantly slower. I have identified several reasons
a) I am not willing to push myself as hard because I am scared I could harm the baby and
b) I get out of breath unusually fast
c) it's in my head that I "should do better" and how I feel like a failure.
On some wods I even opted to use lighter weights (very unlike me, unless I can physically not do them, but this week I really could have).
So WODding has been not as much fun this week. Primarily, because I found myself in self-destructive self talk episodes coupled with passion- and motivation-lacking attitude towards the WODs and myself.
Lifestyle:
I dragged myself to work every morning this week and on days I didn't have errands to do I took long naps after lunch. Generally, I have been fairly active this week though but I did not get all things done around the house that I wanted to. My husband and I did spend some eves wodding and snuggling together which made me happy and content despite the negative feelings I have had about my body and myself this week.
Feelings and thoughts:
This week, I have noticed that I am increasingly frustrated about my decreasing performance. Especially my stamina seems to have disappeared.
I know that part of it has to do with surgery as well which is just 2 months passed now. But it is very difficult for me to not be one of the leaders of the pack at my gym. Plus, everyone else is hitting PRs and improving.
Sometimes I just can't believe that being 11 weeks pregnant makes me so much weaker.
I've heard people say the second trimester was different and that the body will regain strength and tiredness will pass as well, but I am skeptical. However, I am not going to give up and I even started running short distances again. I am missing out on the next games and comps season but I want to bounce back as quickly and strong as possible.
Yet, I am scared I won't. Not because I couldn't but because I will have a baby to take care of which will limit me to the possibilities of doing what I want when I want. But why worry about this now?
Most important for me now is to get my body image in check and think about aome dietary changes for when the semi-paleo challenge is over. (I had done 6 weeks of strict paleo before and my body did not respond well to it that time either, so I am looking forward to eating what my body really needs and cutting back on some of the things I probably shouldn't have as much (aka bananas and nuts). After all I grew up on potatoes and my ancestors did - still hearing Oma's voice "Iss deine Kartoffeln! Während des Krieges waren wir froh, wenn wit überhaupt welche hatten."
