Stop blaming CrossFit for my Injury - my take on my herniated disk

With my neck in a cervical brace, I have heard several people suggest to me that I should reconsider my choice of sport. That is when they knew I was (am) doing CrossFit. Then, my injury was clearly a consequence of CrossFit.

I find the idea of "reconsidering one's sport of choice" as a consequence of an injury very interesting. Especially, when there are options and ways of recovering from that injury.

In terms of the cause of my herniated disc, I cannot clearly say that CrossFit was the culprit. Did strenuous workouts and heavy lifts add to the problem? Probably. 
In anticipation for surgery I have read medical, research-based and non-research-based articles as well as personal stories and anecdotes - in my case specifically about disc problems: from lumbar to thoracic to cervical. I reached out to friends and family with similar problems and found it to be true that herniated discs simply happen. Being only 30 and suffering a disk herniation may be less common but funny enough, the cases in younger people that you do get to read about are those about people who use their bodies actively, athletes for example. It's not a new disease that was brought about by CrossFit. 

Yet, I think I would agree to say CrossFitters may encounter these problems more commonly because of their level of activity. 
And here is a shocker:  If you are using your body you consequently will feel your body. If you don't use it, a lot of issues may simply not show up. Other problems, however, might.

Luckily, disc problems are not a new problem, well-documented, and researched. It's something that can be taken care of surigically as well as non-surgically. The main reasons or risks for disk herniations to happen that I found were covered in most sources were (1) being overweight and inactive, (2) being engaged in contact or high impact sports (from football to skiing, and yes, including CrossFit) and (3) genetics. In the end, the choice of treatment depends on a persons lifestyle and occupation. 

But back to the suggestion of reconsidering my sport of choice. 

Let me ask you: Are you reconsidering playing soccer on your co-ed team because you have knee problems?  

Are you reconsidering kickboxing because you strained or broke your foot during practice? 

Are you reconsidering cycling because you overlooked a rock, fell, and broke your arm?

Maybe you do, and that is certainly fine, it's your decision, not mine. I hope you found something else instead. 

When I was a toddler, my babysitter accidentally dropped me and I suffered a neck injury. Ouch. An accident. And no, my babysitter was not sued and sent to jail. She may have become more careful with little children, or at least I hope so. 

But no one suggested to me to be unsupervised during my toddler years. 

When I was in elementary school, I ended up in a neck brace after jumping twist ropes. A wrong twist or turn and my neck was stiff. I don't think I quit jumping twist ropes after I recovered. Why would you take away such a fun and harmless activity from a child, right? 

When I was about 15 I passed out when cleanig my room because I turned or twisted my neck wrong and must have pinched a nerve. Did I quit cleaning my room after this? Nope. Alhough, I am sure I would have highly welcomed such a suggestion. 

When I was 19, I was rearended on the Autobahn in Germany. Several days post accident, I had headaches, stiffness and didn't feel quite right. Whiplash. Untreated. But no one suggested to reconsider driving as my choice of transportation.  

There would be more anecdotal stories of my life that could illustrate that for me, my disk herniation has a history, and my body decided that it was enough, and I needed to know something was actually wrong. On the contrary, I am grateful CrossFit gave me the ability to tune into my body, and feel the pain I was feeling when I was hanging of a pull-up bar or when I tried to bench press.

So, if we would have to reconsider our sport (or X) of choice whenever an injury happens, then we are ignoring something more crucial. Living life. 

I'm not saying "jump off a bridge and see what happens," but I am saying that if you do what you like, pay attention to the ways you are doing them and listen to your body and your body's response, then you can be happy, and yes, sure enough, you can also get hurt. 

Injuries happen. Injuries can be teachful, too. But I would never allow injuries to stop me from living my life in a way that I enjoy it. 

Just imagine what it would mean if we allowed every injury, sickness, or unfortunate consequence to gain such power over us. I feel like it would trigger a lot of anxiety. On top, it sounds exhausting. 

Instead, I rather spend my energy on accepting the things I cannot control, while listening to my body and being observant of the choices I make so that I can implement changes and prevent harm. 

In my experience, I have learned most from failures and mistakes; luckily, most of these moments offered a chance for me to build on and improve the things that I possibly did incorrectly or without enough thought. We all are learning constantly. 

But if every little set-back would stop us from reengaging with something we enjoy, I believe we all would end up in a pretty dark and desperate place. We would not allow ourselves to even learn anything anymore. We would be creatures with experiences that lead to nothing and that are unfulfilling.

In fact, we would turn ourselves and our autonomy in, and take away any sense of responsibility and self-determination from our actions. In my current state, I would turn myself into a victim of my spine injury. And, I don't want to be a victim. Injuries happen. 

My herniated disc would have happened with or without CrossFit. Maybe sooner, maybe later... potentially I would not have noticed it until it got way worse than it was now. Yes, without CrossFit I probably would have not chosen to undergo surgery. But I probably would be overweight, depressed, and unhappy. 

Opting for surgery was a conscious choice I made, it not only cost money but I paid a temporary price in quitting swimming, running, jumping, playing around with my 100-150# dogs. Things I chose to do. Things I enjoyed. Things that kept me sane. But, I am hopeful I can return to all of these activities again. 

In fact, I never fully had to stop CrossFit. I modified every workout and kept my body and fitness where I could while being injured.

Therefore, telling me to reconsider the choice of my sport makes me... Sad.

It misses the point.

If I would do that I would be miserable. More miserable than wearing this neck brace. Yes, there may be movements in CrossFit that after recovery won't be easy or that I may not even be able to do again, but I will simply need to relearn or find a new way of doing them. After all, it's CrossFit. Everything can be modified. Everything!

The question I need to ask myself is, what is it that my body can do and make sure I do it right. 

Finding something to blame for an injury does not make injury go away. It just creates misery.

In fact, it's more effective for me to find something that I can blame for getting better after injury.  I have a feeling, when I am cleared to work out again, that it's going to be the sport of my choice: CrossFit. 

#ifyoucanttoneittanit

E.T. Discharged from the Hospital

E.T. Is in the house!!!

Just in case you are curious, but the breathing tube down my throat was because of the way I was lying during surgery. I was flipped on my tummy and they cut posteriorly.
The breathing tubes in my nose afterwards and over night were because my pulse fell below 40 - I'm an athlete so I have a low pulse to begin with but hey just wanted to keep me safe.
I got an IV because I had to get one anyway for fluids, some pain meds, and antibiotics afterwards. Maybe I got gas to be put under as well and I just can't remember :)
While my pain was high at a 9 right after surgery, I think it was a combination pain and anxiety of shaking, cramping, headaches and being generally uncomfortable.
In fact, pain was not what I was used to from my left arm radiculopathy. I still have occasional pain in my elbow, bicep and shoulder but nothing compared to how t was a few weeks before surgery. My left arm and shoulder pain is down to a 0-3. Thus, my post surgery pain is from the procedure. Headaches from the halo and the staples in my head, stiffness of my neck primarily on the right side and between the shoulder blades, pressure pain from the brace and not being able to relax my shoulders properly. Muscle relaxants help a bit.
Last night, my nurse checked on me every 4 hours. The midnight check was not necessary - I had just fallen asleep. But I was given some more muscle relaxant and took a bathroom break. 4am was necessary for another dose of oxycodone. The nurse said I was doing really well and that most people would call before 6 hours were up to get more pain meds. Not me. Today, pain has been on a 6 primarily, maybe even a 5 occasionally. I was discharged at 10:30am. I did great on strength tests, walking, and stairs. At home I spend time in the recliner and walked around the house a bit. I took a shower and changed the dressing. Incision "looks good" and only my hair and the staples bother me. Don't want to blow dry my hair so that's been annoying. Here is apic of re incision after my shower. Scroll down if it grosses you out. 

 Then I took a nap on the futon we set up for me; and the futon just might not be the best choice but the bed does not work because we have two giant breed dogs that sleep in it as well and I don't and can't deal with them right now. So I was the one who had to move. I slept 4 hours and woke up super stiff which added to my pain and brought it back up to an 8. Now sitting in the recliner. Pain is around a 7. Wished the stiffness wasn't there, but again, generally pain is from the procedure and uncomfortable positions, and the brace. I'm sure I will be fine in a couple of days. Can't wait for being cleared to do exercises that will help loosen my neck up and increase mobility slowly. I might be rating pain higher than it is because it is such different pain and it is my first surgery ever. In sum, I feel like I have been taken very good care of and know who to go to and talk to if I have questions. I have to watch to not overdo anything in moments I feel good. Like reaching up for a glass. I can do it without problems but should not. Little things...

I am very grateful to have family and friends help out and had a delicious paleo lasagna with not-so-paleo cheese today.